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Boxing, Knitting, Job Search Blues

The past two months haven't been a good ones here in kung fu knitting land.

I think I have been depressed. Well, I know that I have been. I mean, about two months ago I stopped doing a lot of stuff that I normally do, like blog and knit and read. And I had a few days where I was barely able to keep it together. I mean I was on the verge of crumbling into a little heap. Yes, a little heap of sad-Miriness.

I thank my sister and Ms. Missy for getting me through there. I'm no longer in danger of heapness, small nor large. In fact, I feel more balanced than I have for a long while.

I'm not exactly sure what brought on this bout of melancholy. I was under a lot of stress to try to find another job that fits my schedule so that I can keep my School Age Program job. I have one now that fits the bill for the time being. So that's a little better, but I really think I was suffering from some sort of post-trauma depression.

I mean it felt so good to get out of my old relationship. I felt more like myself than I had for a long time. I felt relief and a weird eleation. But I never really had a period of grief. So I think I just experienced this a month ago. I felt the loss of it all, my old life, my twenties, my security. I don't want all that back, but I did feel the change to the core of my being.

It doesn't show up very well, but it's the area between my index and middle finger knuckles that was completely swollen and discolored. Couple this along with the fact that my hand had an injury that wasn't going away, was pretty painful, and was keeping me from boxing hard. I kept taking weeks off of boxing with that hand, but it wasn't helping. Eventually I got it x-rayed and there wasn't anything seriously wrong. Just a bad contusion. Now I wear two large sponges on my hand with my wraps and this has seemed to help keep me from getting injured further. Now it's just my skin that's coming off! (hard hitter that I am)

And, then I have been sick with two colds, a UTI and another cold in the last three or four weeks.

So for two months I have been MIA. I haven't really been knitting and this has wreaked havok with the exchanges that I joined earlier in the summer. My poor partners. Not only do I owe them blog posts for their wonderful packages, in some cases, it's been hard for me to finish my end of the exchange. So let me begin by showing the great scarf I received in the funky scarf exchange brought to the 'net by Bev and Scout:



Isn't it wonderful? My partner Maricell used a bunch of different yarns that she knitted into strips and pieced together. For the colors, she took inspiration from Botticelli's Birth of Venus, the painting I used as an example of art that I liked. The ends of the scarf terminate in fingers of different lengths. It looks fabulous with my black peacoat and I have got a lot of compliments on it. And she designed it herself! Such a great gift.



Thank you Maricell!

More exchange gift posts to come.

Comments

Teyani said…
sounds like a pretty classic bout with depression.. that's the pits. but glad you are re-surfacing.
the scarf is cool.
take care of that hand.
Anonymous said…
It is so nice to have you back, Miriam.
JustApril said…
I'm glad you are starting to feel more yourself again. I've been in the heap stage before, not fun. (((hugs)))
AR said…
I'm glad you're feeling better! The scarf you got is beautiful. I know that little heap of sadness, it's not a good place to be. Hope you don't go there ever again. :)
Anonymous said…
I've been missing you! I understand and have been there myself. Definitely everyone needs a period of time to grieve after hard times and readjust to the changing of your life. Thanks for letting us all know that you're ok and please just take good care of yourself. You deserve good things!
Unknown said…
So nice to have you back and feeling balanced once again. I am following in your footsteps in the relationship dept. So, I feel your pain. I hope that is a comfort to know that you have lots of people (even ones that you only know thru blogging) that are thinking about you and sending you postive vibes!
Larjmarj said…
Welcome back! I know how you feel, I have been nothing but sick for the last month. As for mourning over relationships...sometimes it takes a while for that emotional block to cave in and the feelings to flood forth. Life...the good times don't last, the bad times don't last and ebb and flow.
Anonymous said…
Hey there, stranger ;o) Glad to see you back - and better :o)
Anonymous said…
I am very happy to hear that you are back. PLease take good care of yourself mentally and physically. Watch lots of funny shows/movies. I watch the Colbert Report when I need a dose of funniness. It (comedy) really helps keep the blues at bay. BTW-if you can handle the grossness, Borat is hilarious.
Anonymous said…
Miriam--I'm writing an article for a national knitting magazine about athletes who knit. Would love to include you if you'd be interested. Email me at leslie@nakeidknits.com and I'll give you the details.

Cheers,
Leslie
Annie said…
WOW- I love that!! Gorgeous scarf, very cool!

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