You know I was just thinking the other day about how happy I am. Really, my life is about 3000 times better without my Ex-Faux-SO in it. There's no one there constantantly picking on me, putting me down, stressing me out, ignoring me or any of that crap. I've stopped being afraid. I'm so much more relaxed. I enjoy everything more fully. And I can feel the pleasure of it down into my toes. It's an awakening happening in my mind and spirit and body.
(Ever read The Awakening by Kate Chopin?)
Of course my new, carefree life has also brought me some other problems, but for the most part I have been sailing along and experiencing things as they happen. And doing a good job getting over the rough patches I think. Sometimes I do get a little lonely, but being a little lonely is an order of magnitude better than being miserable, right? And plus, most of the time I feel pretty happy.
But I am not sure that just sailing along is good enough. I think I need to find out what is it that I really want. I could never figure this out before, I think mostly because I was under the influence of my ex and he really kept me in a state of confusion and smallness. I didn't really know what happiness was with him. I had to shutdown and contain everything to peacefully exist.
But, you know, I can feel it all now. And I feel like this is what I should be focusing on: Keeping and increasing the happiness in my life.
(Ever read The Awakening by Kate Chopin?)
Of course my new, carefree life has also brought me some other problems, but for the most part I have been sailing along and experiencing things as they happen. And doing a good job getting over the rough patches I think. Sometimes I do get a little lonely, but being a little lonely is an order of magnitude better than being miserable, right? And plus, most of the time I feel pretty happy.
But I am not sure that just sailing along is good enough. I think I need to find out what is it that I really want. I could never figure this out before, I think mostly because I was under the influence of my ex and he really kept me in a state of confusion and smallness. I didn't really know what happiness was with him. I had to shutdown and contain everything to peacefully exist.
But, you know, I can feel it all now. And I feel like this is what I should be focusing on: Keeping and increasing the happiness in my life.
Comments
gorgeous lining of the purse - how'd you do that? :-)
Teyani - I'm not sure how it happened! I'm terrible at sewing :-\
The loneliness is just a bump in the road of this very exciting journey you are making to learn who you truly are - when there isn't someone there putting you down and being otherwise mentally abusive to you. Revel in it ;o) (I know it sounds weird but, mostly it means that jackass isn't around making you feel crappy about yourself anymore - and good riddance) ;o)
You're clearly a very strong person, and this will have only made you stronger.
Am working to complete the project for your final package. Complete with an extra ball of......
Well you'll see what they sent me soon!!
Your one skein SP
PS (I hope the swearing on the CD didn't offend. I swear like a sailor...)
April - Thanks. I've been working on that not attracting the same personality thing. It's oneof the issues that I have been very mindful of.
SP - No way!! Not at all. There's some sailor in me as well! Thanks for the comments. :-)
Thanks to everyone. Your support is much appreciated.